Chapter 12 - The Final Question
Defenders discuss their proudest moment(s) as public defenders.
What was your proudest moment as a New York City public defender?
Every Defender answers this question, and the overwhelming majority struggle to do so. Some Defenders talk about a trial they had; other Defenders talk about particular moments. Some Defenders talk about particular types of moments, such as moments when they are able to connect with clients. This chapter features every response to this question:
Defender 1
Defender 1 My proudest moment.... There are two. Can I name two?
The first one was when I first got felony certified. This is in Brooklyn. I'm in the middle of a trial. I do a trial; and while the jury's out, they make me go and start another trial in another part, another felony, a nasty, nasty assault case where one woman cut another woman in an L shape down her cheek and to her chin. (Author reacts) So I mean, this was nasty. The first trial I was doing was, I think, a grand larceny. So the jury was out on the grand larceny. I get over, and I start picking the jury on the other case. I keep having to go back and forth when they have to do read backs to the jury. But eventually, the first jury acquits my client of the grand larceny. I come back in on the first-degree assault and finish that trial. The girl is acquitted of assault and in fact walks out of the courtroom, all done. I was proud, because everybody said, “Wow! You did two trials at the same time and got two acquittals.” So I was really proud of that. That was big.
The other actually happened more recently. There was a client that had a couple of mental health issues; but then his father was an outright racist. The client was a racist also; he didn't want a Black attorney: “I don't want any Negroes to represent me.” So he was locked up, and I went on and took the case. This happened after I was a supervisor, but I didn't want to put one of my younger attorneys to it; so I said, “I'll do it.” So I do this writ; and I go before this judge, and I argue this writ. The guy's father is there, and he is just an outright racist. He won't even talk to me or anything; and I don't care, because I didn't want to talk to him anyway. The judge rules on the writ in my favor, and the guy's released straight out of court. He comes over to me and he tries to apologize for all of this stuff and everything; and I look him right in the eye when it's all done and I say to him, “I don't need your apology. This wasn't about you. It was about being right.” And then I turned around and walked out. (Author laughs) I was so proud. I loved it. This guy's home because of a brother, a brother got him out of jail. It's like, don't you forget that baby! A brother's the one who got your behind out of jail!
So I guess those are two. I love it. And then also looking back and seeing people like you and some of my other interns and younger guys like you, guys making it and doing the right thing; and you never forgot where you came from. I always respected that about you. so that's probably why I'm sitting here talking to you today.
Defender 2
Defender 2 Walking somebody out of jail that's been in jail for a year because the jury said not guilty. Hearing a judge say, “case dismissed” after someone fought with me, stood next to me for two years. Those are my proudest moments. Those are the moments where I know I'll never have to see my client again and for a good reason. At least somebody is escaping this system, if not me.
Defender 3
Defender 3 Hmm... My proudest moment…. (Sigh) I mean, I would say, I don't know if I have one. I think that for me, my proudest moments are when I work with a client, and I know that they know that I'm working for them. And I know that they know that if they were somebody that I love dearly, they would be getting the same treatment, the same analysis, the same work from me as an attorney. So I think those moments where I'm connecting with clients and working on their behalf.
When cases get dismissed, that's awesome. When I'm able to negotiate a plea bargain that ends up with the client not having any criminal record, that's awesome. When I win motions, that's awesome. I think those moments are the proudest moments. When I won the trial that I second-sat on, that was awesome. I would say those are the proud moments.
There's one moment that sticks out in my head that I would say is one of the moments as well. It was a young boy that the judge was intent on setting bail on, and I kept on. I just kept on and kept on with the bail argument. I couldn't even tell you what I said now; but the judge wanted me to shut up so badly, and I kept on and kept on and kept on and kept on and kept on going. I pointed to the audience, and thankfully his family was there because I honestly even didn't know. I don't even think I had any idea if his family was there when I pointed to the back. But they released him, and I was like, oh my God. [I was relieved]. He was such a young kid; I don't even remember how old he was, but he looked like he was 14 years old and so scared. So that was a great moment.
Defender 4
Defender 4 Ooh... I have not ever thought of that. That's, I, is this something like, I don't know. Um, I guess it's hard to feel super proud of something because so much shitty stuff happens that it evens out. (Laughter) I don't have some moment where I'm like, “I'm such a great lawyer” just because so many things happen. Winning trials is awesome. Those are really good feelings. You put a lot into them; and when you win, it's really nice.
I wouldn't describe it as proud, honestly; I wouldn't describe it as a pat-on-the-back moment. But I would describe it as a really good feeling of joy and happiness. When a particular client I had was 19 or 20—he was Mexican—we went to trial because he was being charged with [second-degree robbery], facing a minimum of three years in prison. The allegation was that he and his friends went into a bodega and stole beer. It was atrocious. I thought, are you joking? This is the allegation? And then they were offering him six months jail with a probation split; six months in jail, and then probation. Like, that's not an offer for stealing beer; even if he went in there and stole fucking beer, so the fuck what? It's just so stupid. I just couldn't wrap my head around it.
So going to trial was pretty risky, because he was facing at least three years. But my client was really insistent on going to trial, and I said, “Let’s do it.” I wouldn't tell him to take six months for stealing beer. And we won.
Honestly, whenever I win, I have to give the jury something [they can convict my client of]; you can't just [get off scot-free]. You can get a full acquittal, but those are usually in cases of absolute innocence, like if the client was not there. Where you're trying to say that the person was there and something happened, you usually have to give [the jury] something; and I usually try to give them a misdemeanor. So when he paid for the beer—he says he did, and the reason I believe him is because the video from the bodega guys was cut off at [a certain] point. It was just very, very shady—he was so pissed about their whole interaction at the counter with the beer that he [stole] an ice cream on the way out. He's like, “Fuck that,” and stole an ice cream on the way out. So I basically argued to the jury that he's guilty of petit larceny. He stole an ice cream; he’s absolutely guilty of that. But he didn’t fight them [or do anything that equaled force] …. But yeah, I think winning at trial feels very good. It's a good feeling.
So we were so excited to win; we had that happy feeling. But then at sentencing, the judge sentenced my client to six months jail with probation. It was exactly what he had been offered to take on the felony. He sentenced him to that on the misdemeanor of stealing an ice cream. We were just shocked. And then the judge put him in right away; he had him handcuffed and put in jail. The judge was so upset; he was visibly upset when we won. When we beat the [second degree robbery charge and escaped the three-year minimum], he was visibly upset. So we shouldn’t have been surprised that he would sentence him to jail on an ice cream, but [it happened] and we were like, what?!
The client stayed in jail for about a week. We did a bail argument before the Appellate Division, First Department. The Appellate Division released him pending our appeal. Ultimately, the appellate court reversed and I think gave him just straight probation without jail. They said that the sentence was excessive. He tried to sentence him as if he had done the robbery.
That’s crazy, but that’s what I mean when I’m talking about being “so proud”; there are lots of joyless moments that follow. But I was happy that the judge was reversed.
Defender 5
Defender 5 Yeah, that is a tough question. Hmm… my proudest moment? I don't know. You have to ask me that when I retire. I don't know my proudest moment. I can't even say what…. Maybe winning a trial, but I don't want to choose like one trial, you know? … I can't just choose one; if I can lump them together, those are some— I don’t know if those are proud moments. Of course, wins are always good.
I guess just continuing to get up and wanting to do this makes me proud of myself, if that makes sense. There are, like, little moments too, like when your clients are thankful that you [fought for them]. I have one client I still actually stay in contact with; [I represented him in] 2010. He ended up getting 10 years from [this judge]. But because I tried to put my all in the case, and I guess he saw that, we just stayed in contact, including while he was incarcerated. I mean, those are proud moments for me: maintaining those relationships, being able to build those relationships, just being able to connect with people on a human level, you know? All those are all proud moments. Every relationship that I've developed with a client beyond “client,” beyond just being that public defender representing them, that makes me proud. Being able to meet the client where the client is at, as I would want somebody to just meet me at where I am, because I am not perfect…. I'm proud that I am able to do that. I'm blessed that I can do that.
Every case or relationship is not perfect, but to be able to make those bonds and just have individuals thankful for what you’ve done for them, that makes me proud.
I know I didn't give you one moment. I couldn't.
Defender 6
Defender 6 I think honestly, it's not even an acquittal or winning hearings or anything like that. Yeah, it feels good to get people out of jail. But I think one thing that sticks out in my mind is that I'm not always going to be able to get people out of jail. But one thing that sticks out in my head is when I had a client I was representing that had been re-arrested. I had been in communication with his entire family; I was in communication with his dad, his aunt, his sister and his cousin. We're trying to talk about the case. We're trying to talk about bail. We're trying to talk about what's going to happen in the future because his first case was a sex abuse case, and the case that he was re-arrested on was a gun case, which is why he was in.
I coordinated the family and got them together in court. I'd only been talking to them on the phone via text. I saw them all sitting on the bench outside of the courtroom, and I came up to them and I'm like, “You're the family for So-and-So.” And they jumped up, and my client's aunt exclaimed, “Thank God you're like us!”—oh my God, why do I feel like I'm about to cry?—and she was just expressing to me that she was really grateful that I was Black. She expressed that she felt like he was finally in good hands, and she felt that no one could defend her nephew the way a Black attorney could.
I think that's when I felt most proud to be a public defender, because I think it's important that we do this work because no one's going to look out for us but us. If we don't have each other's backs, if we're not standing up for each other, they would just fucking murder us, in every sense of the word, with no repercussions. So yeah, I think that was one of my proudest moments, knowing that I gave his family hope, knowing that he won't just become some statistic or some number or anything like that.
It was really great. Yeah, I can't believe I'm crying. I guess it really did touch me. It wasn’t even recent; it was last year.
Defender 7
Defender 7 Wow, there are so many. I don't think I can pick just one. I love this job and have had so many great moments despite the challenges of this work: winning motions to dismiss, negotiating very hard on my case and having a client do less time in jail. I had one case where they were threatening to indict my client, so he would have been going to prison for a very long time, and we were able to negotiate jail time,1 which sucked, but it was far better than what it could have been.
I would say, probably my proudest moment was when I had my client testify at trial, and the prosecutors were being so shady and so rude to her and so disrespectful. And she just took it like a champ. She was walking in circles around these “experienced” attorneys. She rocked them. I was so proud! That was a case I had up from day one, so it was just very nice to see the fruition of all that prep work, strategy, and legal analysis. And she was acquitted!
Defender 8
Defender 8 Proudest moment.... I think one of my proudest moments was the case of a young lady that started off with a felony. She didn't want to go to trial. We ended up doing an unofficial diversion program that should have lasted 12 months and ended up lasting over two years; and I got to know her so well. When the case finally was over, oh my goodness; I was just so happy: one, because she never went to jail during the two-year period; and two, she beat the odds and successfully completed the program. She took way longer than she was supposed to, but she successfully completed it and was able to move on. A lot of times, when you do these diversion programs on felony cases that are supposed to get replead down to misdemeanors, it’s not always successful.
Over the two years, even though I had left the trial office at that point, she still would call me on occasion. She was having issues, having problems with the program. So just over the years, she was one of my longer standing clients. She was my client for almost three years. By the time [the case began] to the point of completion, I think almost three years transpired, which is absurd. It was just so crazy how the ADA put up all these obstacles and dragged the case out to almost three years. But she succeeded. She never returned to jail, and she was never rearrested. And boy, did the ADA put obstacles in place for her to fail!
Defender 9
Defender 9 I feel like when I won my first trial.... When I started doing this work—I'm older now—but when I started doing this work, I was young; and most of my clients were older than me. So really having that responsibility for someone else's life, having someone depend on you, is a big deal. So my proudest moment is definitely when I did my first trial. I don't remember what the person was charged with right now, but I remember he was in jail and was very close to taking a plea. He ended up not taking a plea and believing in me. I remember him being a Black male, significantly older than me; and just having that experience of him depending on me and trusting me, whatever the outcome would be. I ended up winning the case.
So yeah, that was a proud moment for me.
Defender 10
Defender 10 My proudest moment—and this probably isn't great—my proudest moment is actually tied up in what I also feel was my worst client interaction moment. I had a case, right before I joined the training unit, of a client who was accused of stealing from Old Navy. He was on parole. If he was found guilty, it was going to completely screw up his life. The parole hold drops, he's in for about three months. We do the hearing and I completely decimate the probable cause to arrest him. My client has a scar on his face, a very prominent scar. If you were describing him, that's the first thing you would say.... I completely decimated [the probable cause]. The judge turns to the prosecution and says, “If it weren’t for the parole hold, I would be releasing this man right now. People, either make an offer that makes sense, or we're going to trial tomorrow.”
I turn to the judge and I say, “Judge, I think the parole hold has been lifted. If it has been lifted, can he go home?” Judge agrees. Parole hold hasn't been lifted yet. I think it was over the span of the next week. I get word that the parole hold was lifted, I run to the judge and the case gets advanced. The judge declares, “There's no more reason to hold him. Bring him to court so I can lift the bail.”
I haven't spoken to my client once about what's going on. No interaction. All he knows is that he's getting pulled back to court and then he's getting kicked out. That's all he knows. So when I finally speak to him that Friday, he is pissed. He's livid. And he's like, “They woke me up in the middle of the night telling me I'm going to court tomorrow. I don't know what's going on. Next thing you know, I'm sitting outside of Queens Criminal Court with all of my earthly possessions in my hands, and I don't see you.” And I go, “Yeah, your case is over. It’s done.”
Then he smiles and he goes, “You know what, [My Name]? Fuck you for not telling me though.” And I say, “I'll take that.” And he hugged me. So I felt good, because I moved with such speed. Like I've never moved faster in my life from start to finish. This took a week, but I completely failed on keeping that man up to speed. Like a hundred percent failed on that.
I'm glad it turned out well. I still speak to him every once in a while. So my proudest moment was that. I've never moved faster. It's never worked out so well. I've never done that well in a hearing, where as much as officers lie, I was actually able to get a judge to say there was no probable cause. That’s huge. But I completely failed on keeping that man up to speed.
So I've learned from there and I share with every new attorney that it does not matter how much you're knocking it out of the park, you actually aren't if you aren't communicating with your client.
Defender 11
Defender 11 I think there were a few, but the one that always stands out to me was my first case that I won. I remember I went somewhere and cried.
It was a parole case. This young man who [I represented,] in retrospect, had at least some emotional issues, but I also think he had some mental health issues. He was paroled to Boston through the Interstate Compact; he had been locked up in New York and paroled to Boston. When people were locked up and paroled out of New York to other states [and then] were violated or accused of violating parole, they brought them back to New York for the trial.
This was some domestic violence situation, and he had been violated in Massachusetts. He went to jail and a whole bunch of stuff a couple of times. In New York, he had never been violated, even though all of these things were happening in the court system in Massachusetts; and in New York, he was on life parole. There is a portion of the parole regulations that allows someone to apply to get off of life parole and off of parole period if they have completed three years of uninterrupted parole, meaning that they didn't have any violations. At the time that this guy was brought back to New York, he had completed two years and something like 10 months. So the case came down to two options: win it and get off of life parole, or lose it and continue to be on parole for life. Presumably, he could continue to be on parole, and if he could stay out of trouble for another three years, he could apply again; but that was a precarious thing because this guy had a bunch of issues.
So the case dragged on for two months, which is long for a parole case. Every time I would see him, [the client] would just be screaming at the top of his lungs at me, just so angry, so upset, really just volatile. I was a new lawyer, and this was just so serious of a case. I was really invested. He'd be screaming, and I'd just be trying to just calm him down in a way that, as a more experienced lawyer, I would never have tolerated; but as a new lawyer, I'm just like, “Sir, please, I'm just trying to help you.”
We did all kinds of things. We sent an investigator to Boston and begged [the office] to pay for it. They brought in witnesses from Boston to testify against this guy at the parole trial, but they couldn't get the complainant witness. They brought in the cop and the PO and whatever, and it just wasn't enough to meet the standard. So we won the case after two-and-a-half months. By the time we won the case, he had already been past the time that he would need to hit the three years. I think it was two-and-a-half going on three months when we actually finished the trial and won the case. The guy got off of life parole; and it was my first big trial. I won my first trial, but that was my first big trial. That might have been my second or third trial in parole….
I always remember that it was such a big win, and everybody—all the supervisors and colleagues and other staff—was congratulating me. And when we won the case, I think I went to some room in the back; and I was just sobbing. It was just so cathartic. I guess it was the whole thing, all of the pressure of trying to get this guy off of life parole.
It's just me. I'm a new lawyer. The guy was such a dickhead to me. I got him off parole. I was just crying. I eventually got myself together, came back out. But I think that was what I remember as my proudest achievement.
Defender 12
Defender 12 Wow, that is a tough one. Umm… (Pause) I can tell you what my most shameful moments are, but not necessarily what my proudest moments are. Um… (pause) I guess it would have been after a trial, right after we went to trial and won. That space where you're talking to the jury, finding out what they think; and then talking to your client and feeling really vindicated. I think that would be it.
I mean, so much of our system is this binary of wins and losses. And so the wins we get are trial wins; everything else is rarely a win… I had an attempted murder case that we blew out of the grand jury once. That was a really good moment, and it was a lot of strategy involved…. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I feel like it's going to have to be after a trial…. I feel like some of the best arguments I made definitely did not land on the judges that were hearing them. So that's a challenge, right? I think so much of lawyering depends on the outcome, and so some of your best work, especially when you're in front of a judge and not a jury, may not be recognized….
I definitely remember making arguments one time, like just making every argument I could think of. I turned around and for the first time in my entire career, a senior manager in the office was actually in the audience listening. She had been in court for something else. She was there, and a bunch of senior attorneys were also there. My supervisor and a whole bunch of senior attorneys were there for someone else's case. She would usually go to court to see other people, especially to see the white attorneys; she had never come to court to see me…. I just remember making all the arguments I could, and I'm fighting against the judge and the judge is hearing it. And I turned around and I saw her there. I said, “Okay, what else should I say?” Nobody had any other arguments; sometimes attorneys would pass a note [with an argument or arguments they wanted the attorney to make], but they had no other arguments. So I remember being really proud in that space as a second-year lawyer.
But I kind of feel like it would be after I won a trial. I remember that feeling after I won trials; but at the same time it's bittersweet, because the clients have also been literally taken on this roller coaster. And so many times at the end of a trial, my client would be free, but also what else? Now look, my client's an alcoholic; my client lost their job now; or something else. So, yeah, I don't know. I guess the trial wins.
Defender 13
Defender 13 Ooh.... It's hard, because obviously every time you win, you're proud, right? You're proud of the work you did, you're proud of your team, you're proud of that. Honestly, it might be when I got an acquittal on a serious felony case, and then the next year I saw the client in the courthouse. I was like, “What the fuck are you doing here?” And he answered, “I’m here for jury duty.” (Author reacts) Had he been convicted, he would not have been able to do jury duty.
I think I felt a lot of pride because, for as many times as our people are beaten down, people like my client get to do for others what that jury did for him. And he wouldn't have been able to do that without us fighting that case the way we did.
Defender 14
Defender 14 I would say that it was the last case I did before I left public defense. It was a case I had for about 3-4 years, including while COVID-19 was happening. It was a case that I got started on before the client was arrested, so we were representing her before the case commenced]. I worked on trying to get a disposition for this particular case that did not include incarceration. I did a lot of work on it; I filed several pre-pleading memorandums and did other things. However, the prosecutor would not make an offer that did not include jailtime. Even the judge pressed the ADA to consider a non-jail offer, but the ADA refused. The offer on the case remained five years in prison.
So, we went before the judge and sought a hearing under the Domestic Violence Survivors’ Justice Act (DVSJA). At the time this law was passed, it was very new; and it was mainly used in post-sentencing situations. We, however, sought to use it in a pre-sentencing situation, so this was a novel situation. Going to trial was not really an option; this was not a good trial case. We sought a hearing because our client was in an abusive relationship where her co-defendant was the abuser. The co-defendant had already pleaded guilty.
We ultimately won a hearing under the act. In order to proceed, our client first had to plead guilty to the charges she was facing. What sentence she would get depended on whether or not we won the hearing. In order to win the hearing, we had to prove three things: 1) that our client was a victim of domestic violence at the time of the offense; 2) that domestic violence was a significant contributing factor to the defendant’s participation in the offense; and 3) that the sentence she was facing under the charges she pled to would be unduly harsh. If we were able to prove those things, then it opened up the possibilities in terms of sentencing; our client could receive a non-jail offer. If not, then our client would be facing a minimum of two years in prison.
Over several court dates, we held the hearing. On my last day at the public defender’s office, we had our final day of the hearing. As luck would have it, the judge sided with us. The client wound up getting three years of probation with possibilities for early termination. I continue to keep in touch with her all the time. In fact, her daughter now wants to be a lawyer.
So that’s one of my proudest moments.
Defender 15
Defender 15 My proudest moment as a public defender was participating in a serious felony trial with [my fellow Defender]. The client was a mandatory persistent felon, [which means that if he got convicted of any of the felony charges he was accused of, any sentence he received would have a life sentence on the back end. My fellow Defender] said, “I want you to come on the show with me.” I said, “Okay.” I talked to the client, and we ended up putting him on the stand. He cut his nephew pretty badly, but we had an explanation for that. And I remember that he had a daughter; and I remember we were talking and I was asking him about his daughter. He started crying—it was just me and him in my office—and then he was ashamed.
I said, “Why are you ashamed? We all cry. I cry. There’s no reason to be ashamed. Those tears aren’t fake; and I’m going to pull those tears out of you when we are in court, when you testify tomorrow.” The client said, “No.” I said, “Yes. You’re a mandatory persistent felon; you’re looking at 16-to-life if you are convicted even on the [lowest level felony charge you’re facing].” I think the top count was assault in the first degree. He said, “No.” So we prepped him in terms of the direct examination and cross examination; and on the day of trial, he was still trying to fight me on it. But I prevailed in the end, and I made him cry. And it wasn’t fake tears. I was talking to him about his daughter, [asking him about] why he did what he did. It was beautiful, because he was fighting me in front of the jury. He was fighting me, fighting, fighting; and then he started crying. The judge said, “I’m sorry. Mr. Such-and-such, do you need a moment? Can we get you a tissue?” And this is all in front of the jury…. He finally composed himself and explained [what happened, tearfully].
We were able to get a full acquittal. [My fellow Defender] is a brilliant attorney. I did one round of voir dire, I did the opening, and I put our client on the stand. She did everything else. She cross examined all the witnesses. And we were able to get a full acquittal on a guy who was looking at spending the rest of his life in prison….
The reason why it was my proudest moment had less to do with anything that I did, but more to do with the fact that we literally saved this brother's life. We literally saved this brother's life because he couldn't even go down on the [lowest level felony on the indictment], you know what I mean? To me, that was the proudest moment because a simple mistake...could have cost him his life. He still has our personal numbers and the number of the investigator who was involved; and he will text us and see how we’re doing. I always ask him about his daughter. He's staying out of trouble.
So to me, that was my proudest moment as a public defender.
Defender 16
Defender 16 I have so many! Oh man…. My proudest moment was when I got a 13-count acquittal after being on trial for a whole month-and-a-half. My client was facing 13 felony counts. He had priors, and he was facing a whole bunch of time in jail. When those 13 not-guiltys came down, that was the proudest moment.
I also had a first-degree assault case with a client who was undocumented; she was a DACA client. She was facing not only jail time, but deportation as well. She would lose her DACA license immediately and go into ICE custody. And we got a five-count acquittal, and that was significant. Both of them were wonderful because I really gave a second chance to both of those people. I have a lot more, but I’m just going to use those two.
Defender 17
Defender 17 This is a tough question because I have a lot of proud moments, many of which were for very basic acts on my part, but were all about the client’s satisfaction and/or how relentless I was about fighting for them, so several examples come to mind.
But if I had to choose one…hmmm…I guess it would be my one and only trial that I won. I really shouldn’t be proud because I was totally unprepared and it could've really gone left; but, heck, it’s the only solo trial of my career and I won so what’s not to be proud of? Haha! It was a domestic violence case, misdemeanor assault and harassment, and the complainant was uncooperative from the beginning, so it was an evidence-based trial. It was a bench trial, so there was no jury, and I was sent out very unexpectedly. I hadn’t prepped it because…there was no complainant, so in my mind, the case would eventually be dismissed! In fact, I had been trying to get a disorderly conduct plea, but the ADA wouldn’t budge; and my client was undocumented, so he couldn’t take the harassment plea (and the shit ton of DV sessions)2 that they were offering. It’s kind of what I was alluding to before about how feckless some of these ADAs can be. They probably thought they had him by the balls because he was undocumented, but they got greedy and didn’t actually consider the weakness of the case. Evidence-based trials are rarely successful and in the end they got zero, zilch, NADA!
The best part was my cross examination of the arresting officer. I made it a point to highlight how little he knew. The complainant did not call the cops, so they couldn’t play a 911 call and establish an excited utterance. Neither the complainant nor the client spoke English, and the cop didn’t speak Spanish, so he couldn't relate anything said by the CW once he arrived on scene. There were no visible injuries, no past DV history to speak of, and they had been married for a long time. I wish I could remember the name of the judge, but she was a Black female judge. One of the better ones, so she probably got transferred. She acquitted him twenty minutes after our closing arguments. But that acquittal had lasting effects. He was applying for an adjustment of his immigration status, and a conviction would’ve been very damning, especially since the complainant was his sponsor. Even with the acquittal, the arrest itself, naming her as the victim, was problematic enough; but I later learned that his green card application was approved (a fellow CUNY Law alumna handled his immigration case), so it was a very important and consequential win…hence why it’s my proudest moment.
Defender 18
Defender 18 Wow. That's a tough one. Let me think about that. Um, my proudest moment… I mean, I don't know if I had one proudest moment. I think any time you get some good outcome for your client, I think that would make me feel proud. Getting a not-guilty verdict after trial made me proud. I can think of a few of those moments and that feels really proud; but those weren't the frequent moments. I think it's sometimes just getting something reduced, getting something dismissed, writing a pre-pleading memorandum that actually convinces the judge to do something different than what they were inclined to do. I think anytime you can use your persuasive powers to get closer to your client's goal, that felt like a proud moment to me.
Defender 19
Defender 19 My proudest moment.... It was probably winning a gun trial in which the officers were clearly not honest. That's one thing I miss about the Bronx: Bronx juries will believe you when you say the police are not honest, unlike even in D.C. D.C. is not majority-minority anymore. We're not majority Black as of a few years ago, and the juries are maybe 30% Black….
In New York, I had a trial in which officers said that they saw my client with a gun. They claim they heard the gun drop and it hit the concrete, then they immediately turned and saw my client there. They arrested him. In order to win the case, we had to convince the jury that the cops simply weren't telling the truth. It was only my second jury trial, and we won. I talked to the jury afterwards, and they believed our version of events. They believed our client was telling the truth and the police were just lying. I think to get a jury of regular citizens to tell you that they believed you and your client and not the police, and they thought the police were lying, is just not something that's very common. We won the trial, and then hearing “not guilty”; those are the best two words in the English language. (Author laughs) So I think that would probably be my proudest moment.
Defender 20
Defender 20 Oh gosh, I've had so many moments, so many moments. But I think I remember when the jury said not guilty for a client I had, a young woman who was facing serious consequences if she were convicted. My proudest moment was when they said not guilty for her, because she didn't get deported; she was so young, and she got her whole entire life back in that moment, right? That not-guilty verdict was so heavy and the consequences were so high, and she got it all back in that moment, you know? I think that was the best moment.
Defender 21
Defender 21 I really don't know that I can think of one. There were a lot of good moments. When my client and I got to walk out of that courthouse feeling like we had gotten the result that we wanted. Or I guess those moments when I had those clients at the beginning where it was acrimonious, and by the end of that relationship, we are on the same page and we trust each other. I guess those are sometimes some of the most fulfilling moments, going through that journey of the relationship with the client and coming out in this place. Those were good moments.
Defender 22
Defender 22 My proudest moment was when I won this bench trial. I had a client who was a nursing home director. One of the people in the nursing home accused her of stabbing her in the hand with a pen. She'd been working there for 30 years and had never been arrested. She was the mother of two boys, and she raised her kids really at this nursing home. She cared about the work that she did; and she had so many people there in support of her.
It's kind of stressful when you have a client who's the same age as your own mother, and you have community members who are there and wanting to see a just outcome; and then knowing that the outcome of that case could determine whether or not this woman goes back to her job, which is like her home. I think it might have been my first bench trial or something; maybe my second, but it was the first one I first-chaired. [My fellow Defender] and I did that trial together. We won the case, and I was really proud to have been able to do something like that. I was proud to do it with my friend; but I was also happy because my client was really happy with the outcome. And for the people from the home that came in support, it was like what you see on TV when you win a trial, with people crying and giving hugs and stuff. It was kind of dramatic, but it was heartwarming; and it was nice to be able to give that to her.
Defender 23
Defender 23 Oh man, there have just been so many. There are two clients who I can think of. I would say that my proudest moments are just meeting clients at their lowest point, meeting clients who are so low that they've completely given up on themselves—you want to do every single thing for your client. But the truth is, no matter what you do, if your client doesn't believe that he or she is deserving of what you're trying to do, it's very difficult. I've had clients who were suicidal and just didn't believe that they were worthy of better—and to see the transformation from that lowest of low points to greater heights. Some of these people have no family, no support, are strung out, and have just completely given up. And to see those clients believe in themselves and believe that they deserve better and actually get better and do better and transform their own lives to become completely different people is just amazing.
Those are my proudest moments, when clients just transform into the people they want to be and are able to rise completely above the despair of their situation and make it completely different. It doesn't happen often. But when that extreme transformation happens, it is incredibly rewarding, because you're not just helping to transform one individual's life. Now you know that that individual is going to pay it forward. And you know it's going to affect that individual's family and that individual's community. And that is just amazing. If you can have any hand in that, that's just incredible. That's why we're here, right? We're all on borrowed time, just trying to make our communities better. That is our responsibility. And when you see that actually happening, there are no words. It's amazing.
Defender 24
Defender 24 I mean, I don't know if I have a single moment. My proudest moments are generally when a client or a family is thankful for something that I did in a sincere way; when they thank me for seeing them, for listening, for understanding, for not treating their son, their daughter, their nephew, or their parent as someone who's disposable and unworthy.
Professionally, in like a strict sense, I'm proud about this: judges generally just don't see you. They're just going, they're pushing you to the next thing. Sometimes, it's really not until you do a trial in front of a judge when they then see you and kind of see the product of your work, seeing you outside of someone who's just a cog in the wheel that doesn't want to do something…. Those kind of moments where your work and your pushback then translates into something like a recognition, like, “Oh, you were right. You were right. You did know what you were doing…. I wasn't right. You were right. I can see the product of your work. I was going too fast.”
I had another trial in front of a judge in Manhattan who I really didn't know. When I came in, the judge was unimpressed and nonchalant, and the prosecutors were nasty. This was a case [my fellow Defender] and I tried together. The judge was really pushing me to close that same day after the evidentiary portion of the trial closed, and I really pushed and fought. I said, “No, I want to close tomorrow. I need to absorb all this testimony and evidence and take it in. I don't want to do a streams-of-consciousness, seat-of-your-pants type closing.”
So I did. Actually, you probably don’t know this, but the water main broke in Manhattan and flooded the streets down by the office in Tribeca. It happened that night. I actually stayed at the office, spent the night in the office writing my closing, and slept on a colleague’s couch. At the time, I was a member of Equinox, the gym. So in the morning I went there, showered, changed and whatever. Then later that day, I delivered my closing. After I was done, the judge complimented my closing and said he was impressed and saw the work. He acknowledged the work: “Okay, you weren't just saying you wanted to close tomorrow. I see the work that you put in.” It was a good closing, and him acknowledging that was good. So I hoped that in the future, that would translate into good grace when other people are asking for time to close…. There's real work being put into this; there's real reflection. We care about our jobs. We're trying to create a product that's going to rise to the occasion of what it should for a client. We want to produce something good for the client. So that's satisfying, when your work and your pushback then translates into a recognition that you hope carries forward to the next person that's in front of that judge. Or when the next public defender that comes in is pushing back, they remember that and will react differently.
Sometimes I'm just proud that I made it through the day. Do you know what I mean? There are some days where you have 15 cases on, most in Supreme Court, maybe a couple in Criminal Court, in seven different courtrooms that are packed. I have difficult clients; I have to go to the pens and talk to them; and just the fact that somehow I managed to complete it, the world didn't implode on me at the end of the day, it didn't break me, it didn't make me quit or give up or run, because sometimes it seems designed to do that, you know? Then you don't try, you give less effort, and you're encouraged in that way to kind of give up and not go the extra step or not make the argument because you feel like it's all futile. A day where I don't do that, I survive that, I give it my all, I don't take shortcuts, and I finish the day having not done that, is a proud moment.
Defender 25
Defender 25 My proudest moment.... Am I narrowing this down to one? I have two things. Number one: several years ago, I had a case with a young person. He was a good kid. He just had a bad stretch. But we worked out a disposition, and he worked very hard at fulfilling his court mandates and doing the things that he needed to do. I don't remember the ABCs of the case completely, but what I remember is that he was able to come out on December 24th, the day before Christmas. And I remember how happy he was. It was one of those things where it was a real short court calendar.3 Everybody's trying to go home. There was discussion before that date came, where the judge said, “Why don't we just put it on after Christmas, but before the new year?” I said, “No, if everything is as it needs to be, put it on the 24th. Let's try and get this young person home for Christmas.” Fortunately, around the holidays, even court personnel are in good spirits. So everything came together. And I remember this guy got out the day before Christmas, and he was so happy. His family was there.
Fast forward to about five years later, I'm walking down the street, and I hear somebody say, “Mr. [My Name], Mr. [My Name].” And I'm looking around, and I see this guy coming. I was like, I see his face, he's vaguely familiar. But at that point, I have had so many clients…. And he said, “Mr. [My Name], do you remember me?” He gave me his name, and as soon as he gave me his name, I knew exactly who he was. He said, “Yeah, remember I had this case and I messed up, but I tried to get myself together and you really helped me?” And I said, “Yeah, I remember. I remember.” He looked good; he looked healthy. He looked like he was doing well. And he said, “Yeah, I'm doing this. I'm doing that. I'm working and everything.” He said, “Man, I just want to thank you. It would have been so easy for you to just ‘Let's put it on after Christmas.’ But you knew how important it was for me to just try to get home…. And it really meant a lot to me. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
It almost brought tears to my eyes. I'm thinking, this is five years later, and this guy comes up to me and is detailing all that stuff. I said to myself, this is why we do this. This is why we do this. He asked, “Is it alright if I shake your hand?” I said, “Of course, of course.” I just thought, I wouldn't be surprised if this young man is as successful as he could possibly be, because he had his head on straight. And that to me was huge. That was huge.
The last thing is not as big, but it’s just a personal thing. I had a press case that was a celebrity press case. It was a celebrity stalking case, but there were some felonies thrown in there. I felt a lot of pressure on that case. I had the press calling me, calling my office when the case was on and trying to talk to me. I saw the case covered on TV. I felt like I was under a magnifying glass…. I was just nervous. I was just nervous about this case. And I really liked my client a lot. I felt he was just kind of misunderstood. He's just a quirky kind of guy. But it's one of those things where the entire office knew about the case and other people knew about the case and the press was covering it. During the trial, the courtroom was packed; it was standing room only.
Long story short, we won that case. I even missed a family vacation because of this trial. My family went to North Carolina to celebrate Thanksgiving. I couldn't go because this was on trial. And I said, “No, no, no, no, go, you guys go.” And I remember they heard about the acquittal, and they're calling me to congratulate me. It just felt good, man. It felt good to get a win. I felt pretty proud of the effort. I was happy to have worked with the client; he was frustrating at times, but I liked him a lot. We got a good victory. And I remember one of the DA’s office’s bureau chiefs came up to me after the case—he was sitting there for the verdict—and he shook my hand. He said, “[My Name], congratulations, man. You just flat-out outlawyered us. Good job. Congratulations.” I took it with humility, but I thought, “Oh, that's cool. I appreciate that.” So that was another moment.
Defender 26
Defender 26 My proudest moment was right before I took my first felony guilty plea. My 55-year-old client, with no record, was charged with possession of a firearm. For over a year, the prosecution wanted jail time even though the search was illegal. When it was time to do the hearing, we conferenced the case with the judge, and he seemed to be very critical of the search also, indicating that the gun may be suppressed without more from the prosecution.
This was my first felony hearing, and I was excited to tell my client that we have a real possibility of winning the hearing. But my client was so terrified that, if the hearing did not go our way, he would have no chance at trial and have to go to prison. After a few minutes, the prosecution offered a one-time plea deal to felony possession with probation and no jail time. I really begged them for a misdemeanor, pointing out my client’s 55 years as a NY resident with no arrests ever. They refused.
I was pretty pissed. And my client and his wife, who came to every court date, saw how angry I was. After speaking with the prosecution, I went to tell my client and his wife the new offer. As I sat down, he said he heard everything and that he was going to take the offer even though he knew I didn’t want him to. I tried to push him to consider doing the hearing.
He then said: “Thank you. I know you are disappointed, but I just don’t want to take the risk. I’m so lucky to have a lawyer who really listened to me, was patient with me, and fought hard for me, even though I was wrong. I was having a bad day that day. But don't let my actions on that day make this a bad day for you. I get to go back home today because of you.”
That moment helped shape my perspective. The win is not always a dismissal, acquittal, or suppression. The win is to serve our clients and zealously advocate for them to get the best outcome possible.
Defender 27
Defender 27 I mean, I can't narrow it down to a single proudest moment. I'm always proud when my clients are happy. I am proud when they appreciate what I've done, even when I'm not able to get them the outcome that we want. When I've put in work and they are appreciative of that work, those are my proudest moments. It’s not because they recognize that I'm, like, so good. It's just because they feel like I have done for them something that they couldn't do for themselves. And they're grateful. And so that's humbling and those are the best moments.
Defender 28
Defender 28 That's a tough one. I mean, you know why? Because I think, you know, getting the result that you want, having your strategy come to fruition, it's all the same feeling at the end. So it's not one particular case or one particular client, because you experience those happy moments for all of them when you see that your efforts have paid off and have—
I'll tell you this. I'll give you one that I think I can probably separate. I went to trial on a case in the Bronx. Judge [Name Omitted] was the judge. He actually thought he liked me before the case simply because, for every judge, I use the same type of formalities: “Good morning, Your Honor. Good morning counsel.” And they think, okay, so I like what he's saying, but I say that for every single appearance. But there’s that, and I've never had an issue with him, so he thought he liked me. We ended up being on trial in front of him. It was a very difficult case because the client was charged with consecutive drug sales. Those were the days when they were really prosecuting drug sale cases; and he was facing consecutive time. He was accused of making five separate transactions, so he was facing a lot of time. He was a young guy too, a young Puerto Rican guy. And he had just had a child.
So we end up going to trial in front of that judge. First we had an evidentiary suppression hearing. I have this hearing, and I'm sort of playing possum during the hearing—I had never been on trial with this particular judge—and I was making it look like I was disorganized when I wasn't during the cross examination of the detective. I knew the detective was going to testify at trial, and I wanted the detective's guard to be down. I was getting the information that I wanted to get, but I was making it look like I couldn't find [things], I was going slow.
Now fast forward, we go to the trial and he's on the stand. I don't have any notes and I'm rapid fire [with my cross examination]. The judge interrupted and said, “Counsel, counsel, counsel, counsel. You gotta slow down for the court reporter. His hands are gonna catch on fire. You gotta slow down.” I continue rapid fire questioning. It’s question after question after question after question. The judge says, “Okay, members of the jury, we're going to take a brief recess.”
So I told the judge, I said, “Why? Why are we taking a break?” The judge says, “Excuse me?” I said, “I just started my cross examination. You had the opportunity to take a break before I started. Why are we taking a break now?” The judge says, “Excuse me, Mr. [My Name]. This is my courtroom; and if I wanna take a break—”
“Oh no, you won't! No, you won't. You will not do that. You will not interrupt my cross examination.”
The judge said, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we're gonna take a brief recess because Mr. [My Name] and I, we have to have a conversation, and it may take a while. So however long it takes.” The jurors walked out. One of the jurors later told me at the end, they said, “Mr. [My Name], as we were walking out, I was saying to myself, I hope we see Mr. [My Name] again.”
In any event, the judge and I get into it, just a back and forth. He said, “If I wanna take a break, I wanna—” I say, “No, you will not do that.” I say, “What you will do is you will call me up to the bench and you will tell me what you're considering doing. This is important. This is not for you to interrupt the flow of my cross examination.” So we have this big back and forth. He then says he wants a supervisor.
We break for lunch. When we come back, the whole public defense office is there, basically. So the judge is on the bench saying that people are making faces at him, and that there are lawyers in the audience, and that somebody's making a gesture. He's so paranoid.
So we continue, and we continue going at it. Eventually he breaks down and he's almost in tears. He says, “Mr. [My Name], I don't know if you have something against me. I don't know if you don't like me.” And I told him, “Stop it.” I said, “This has nothing to do with you. This has nothing to do with you. Stop it.” And after that, I saw something click in his eyes, and it was like he thought, okay, he's my mortal enemy forever. So the case continues, and now he's a second prosecutor on the bench, which he was going to be anyway.
Towards the end of the trial, it was Martin Luther King's birthday, so it was a holiday weekend. I remember we came back on that Tuesday, and right before summation I tried to make peace with the judge, but he wasn't having it. And he remarked to his law secretary, “He's so rude, isn’t he?”
I get up on summation. I said, “Members of the jury, we just finished celebrating the life and legacy of one of the greatest men that has ever lived.” The ADA objected: “Objection, Your Honor!” And the judge very was uncomfortable—mind you, it is full of Black people on the jury now—and the judge said, “Well, I don't know why Mr. [My Name] is mentioning this, um, but I will, I will allow it for now.” So I said, “Why am I mentioning this?” I said, “Members of the jury, each and every one of you know why I mentioned this.” (Author laughs) So in other words, I was sticking it to the judge at the end. He didn't realize that he had lost the jury.
I did all of that because I knew it was a tough case, and I knew that if it was going to be the status quo, I was going to lose that case. So we had to create this whole thing…. So long story short, they acquitted this guy. Maybe 13 years later, somewhere around there, I get a call as a supervisor in Brooklyn. The person says, “[My Name]!” I said, “Yes, who's calling?” He said, “You may not remember me, but my name is [client name].” I said, “No, I'm sorry, I can’t remember.” He said, “We went to trial. You were my lawyer at the trial.” I said, “Really? That's unusual; I remember all my trials.” He said, “All I remember is you and the judge going at it, and that juror that said they thought that the judge was gonna lock you up.” And then I remembered exactly what the case was.
He then told me, “Mr. [My Name], I'm so happy that I found you. You know that changed my life forever. My kid”—she was a baby at the time—“she's doing really well. My wife and I, we're in Florida now. I'm the vice president of the chain of Marriotts down here. And I wanted to let you know that whenever you are in Florida and you need a free place to stay, let me know.” So he was calling me and he was telling me all of that. I would never take him up on that, but just to see that whole cycle broken and the fact that sometimes all our clients need is an opportunity…. Now, the whole cycle is broken, and with new opportunities and new dreams and new hopes. That was the best. And I remember I walked around that whole day and probably that whole week just thinking about that…
As a result of all of that, that judge hates me to this day. (Author laughs)
That other client I talked to you about with the elevator, that was a different judge. That judge and I got into it over this client who hated my guts. He hated me so much that during my summation, in front of a full audience of lawyers, he said, “Objection sustained. Mr. [My Name], you will not attack the DA!” And I said to him, in front of the jury, “I'm not attacking the DA; I'm being a defense lawyer. And you need to be a judge.” (Author reacts) He told me to sit down; he said, “Sit down!” I said, “Because you're asking me to do that in the courtroom, where you have the gavel, I'll do that. That's the only reason why I'm doing it.” I went and sat down. The jury's there in the box. He's talking to the jury, giving them instruction: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what Mr. [My Name] said…”
I turned to my client and said, “Let's pretend like we're talking. I know we don't like each other, but let's pretend like we’re fucking having a good time.” So we’re talking, so the jurors all look at us while the judge is talking to them. The judge turns around and he’s like, “What is going on?” He then goes, “Okay, I'm done.” So I continued talking to the client, and the judge says, “Mr. [My Name], I'm finished.” I said, “I heard you. You're finished. I'm not finished.” I finish talking, and then I get up and I go. This judge was so furious.
The jury later came back with a not guilty verdict. I said, “Judge, seeing that the jury has spoken, I'm asking that my client be released forthwith.” They hate when you use those words, right? Those are the words, “forthwith.” He says, “Well, we have to see if there are any holds.” I said, “I already checked. There are no holds. Let him go.”
I then start to walk out of his courtroom. The judge yells out as both the ADA and I are walking out. He says, “Mr. [ADA’s Name], you're always welcome back in my courtroom.” I turned and I said to him, “See judge, that's where we disagree. This isn't your courtroom.” Then I walked out. He hated my guts. Hated my guts. I told the client, “They're going to have to release you. When you're released, give me a call and let me know. And if you're not released today, then we're going to do something about it.”
I get a call from the client later, who said to me the most profound thing any client has ever said. He said, “Mr. [My Name]?” I said, “Yeah, what's up?” He said, “It must be bittersweet for you.” I said, “Why is that?” He says, “Well, it's sweet because you got the victory, but it's bitter because now the judge hates you.” I’ll never forget that.
When I went into private practice, he referred cases to me, both he and his mom. I had developed an amicable relationship with her during his trial. Then one day I was going to court, and I saw her on the corner, and she was crying. I approached her and asked, “What's going on?” She gave me a hug and said, “Mr. [My Name], you're not gonna believe what they did to my baby. They killed my baby.” (Author reacts) Yeah.
And the thing that was crazy about all of it was that, during the time of me representing him, I’d always ask him what he's going to do after the trial. He would say, “Don't worry about me. When I get out, I'm gonna start my own car company. I'm gonna have the best fleet of cars in the Bronx, and I'm gonna do car deliveries. I'm gonna start my own business. I already know that. That's why I don't worry about a felony, because I'm gonna have my own business.” So when he got out, that's what he started. He was doing really well, and he had a whole fleet of cars. Then one of his employees killed him one morning, shot him in the head.
So, you know, it's um, it's um, you know…(pause) it's, it's a, it's a job that, you know, takes you to different places…. I tell both of those stories, one of them ended in a real success story for that particular client, and the other ended with him eventually being killed. But they both had the opportunity to be free.
Defender 29
Defender 29 Wow.... There were several. I'm going to need a minute for that….
So this is a proud moment. I don't know if it's my proudest, because I could sit here for another week. I had a client, a young lady that I had been working with; and she just continued to pick up [so many] cases. She was young, a teenager. One week turned into one month, which then turned into months of her being incarcerated. Then there was finally a point when she, the judge, and I all agreed that she could be released and actually make it on her own, despite her family situation.
The problem with juvenile public defense is that the client is not just being held because of situations that they've been involved in; their family life can be a factor, which is so heartbreaking because a 12-year-old can't determine whether or not their home life is appropriate for them to return to. And judges will say that because of that, they can't release the client.
So the judge asked her to stand up and talk about why she felt like going home would work out and why she could handle it. She and I talked about it for a long time before that; and she stood up and she spoke from her heart. She educated the judge on a lot of factors outside of her control that he wasn't aware of. She was articulate, she was strong, and she was honest, as honest as she could be in that moment. I had to excuse myself for a minute to get myself together because I was so proud of her and how far she had come; and not proud in this sort of condescending way. I was proud in this way that when called upon to speak for herself, she was more of an advocate for herself than I could ever be. And that to me was just a good feeling. I wasn't somebody showing up with a cape on to save her. She was schooling everybody, including me. And I was proud to be her lawyer, and I was proud to stand beside her in that moment.
Defender 30
Defender 30 As an attorney? I don't know. I don't know if I've had one yet. I've had many little moments of feeling like I've accomplished something and I've made a difference; but I don't know that I've had one big moment that stands out against the rest. I think one of my funniest moments was when I won a trial and didn't know how. (Author laughs) And the client said to the judge, “Oh judge, you’re alright.” I'm said, “Shut up! Go! I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but we won! Let's go.”
Defender 31
Defender 31 You know what? I had a trial where my client came to me—it was a transfer case, actually; and we went to trial, and it was a bench trial—and he came to me before we got the verdict and he said: “You know what, Ms. [My Name]? I want to say thank you. You promised me that you were going to do your best, and you did. I'm not really feeling this judge; there’s something about her eyes and the way she looks at me that makes me think she is not going to rule in our favor. But I really just want to take this time to say thank you for doing your best.”
It was crazy, because we ended up getting a conviction; but the fact that he even thanked me before, it just really meant a lot to me because I put in a lot of work on it and he shouldn't have been found guilty. But that's another story. (Author reacts) Yeah, everybody in the courtroom came to me—everyone, the officers, clerks, everybody—and said, “I cannot believe she found him guilty.” And they even told the judge, too.
Defender 32
Defender 32 My proudest moment as a public defender is difficult to confine to one experience. I think I can more accurately describe a situation that is recurrent. It is when my clients’ prospects of a successful outcome in their cases are realized. I’ve had acquittals at trial or dismissals on papers, but my client’s life was still ruined due to all that came before they got their “day in court.” I had a client get sentenced to jail, but the sentence was halved after I brought prosecutorial misconduct to light with the help of an incredibly talented investigator. It was still jail because my client was still guilty of something, but the client was thrilled. I’m proud of those moments too, even if I am not happy about the fact that my client went to jail. There is a lot of ambivalence in this line of work.
I will still try to give you a moment that I am incredibly proud to be a part of. My client was accused of a felony theft offense along with a co-defendant. My client had been through a lot in life in the way of abuse and mental health challenges and was addicted to opioids. There was also a language barrier that they had to deal with. I was able to get them into drug court where they completed the mandate and had completely turned their self around. It was not a case that could be tried. It was not a situation where the ADA was hiding evidence or one where the client was truly innocent. The client would have been convicted in a trial. But they won a second chance. They got a job, an apartment, and stayed clean. Their case was dismissed. I was so proud of my client. I was proud to represent that individual. It was their effort on successful completion. I remember their smile and enthusiasm. It was an incredible feeling. That moment was one of the proudest moments I have had as a public defender.
Defender 33
Defender 33 Winning my first trial. Because even though I had a supervisor, I did it by myself because he was useless. And he fought me at every juncture and misled me in ways that were harmful. For example, our judge had asked us during the charge conference to prepare an argument [because] each of us might want a missing witness charge4…. [The supervisor told me not to take it seriously because both motions would be denied, and so I listened to him and wrote very little. Then I got the prosecutor’s arguments and saw that he put effort in his], whereas I literally had like two sentences. So the judge denied my motion and granted his, and it made me so upset. So the fact that we still won is great. I'm happy about that, and so I think that was probably my proudest moment. Despite all the obstacles and everything, with people saying we couldn't do it and all the attorneys before me telling me that it was a dead case and my client’s full of shit, he's this and he’s that. And I still thought, you know what? I'm gonna do it. And that was it; I did it. My client was very appreciative and felt great.
Defender 34
Defender 34 My proudest moments—and there have been more than one—have been in the grand jury. I remember this one woman who got caught with felony A-I-weight drugs. She's like a kid, but she came into New York from Washington D.C. with her boyfriend. It was Valentine's Day, and she got caught with [felony weight].
She was carrying something that she didn't know she had. She had said that he “asked me to be his valentine, and I came to New York.” It was a date; they took the bus in. Her mother came up, and they were cursing me out—you know how the lawyer gets blamed for what's going on—and it took me a long time; but I finally got her to talk to me. She started crying and she said, “Oh, I was just going to be his valentine.” And I said, “Well, this is what I want you to show the grand jury.” We went in, and she won….
Another woman rented her house out because she couldn't pay rent. She lived in a bedroom, and she rent other rooms to people; and the people were dealing drugs in her house. She got arrested for possessing drugs of felony A-I weight. She went to the grand jury and won.
A client who was a mandatory persistent felon went in [to the grand jury]. One of the lawyers I would supervise says, “I want to know if I should put this guy in the grand jury. He's a mandatory persistent.” He didn't get a no-true-bill, but he got a “no grand jury action,” which means they got a hung grand jury. And he walked out.
So you see somebody who would've been remanded or would’ve had such high bail set that they couldn't make it; and if they didn't go in to the grand jury, you'd end up taking some plea bargain six months later. But my proudest moments have been to cut the shit right at the root…. Those are really the best moments, when you can say, “I stopped this stuff in its tracks” and people can go home. That's why I love the grand jury, because it just gets rid of it, you know? No long, drawn-out motions, hearings, maybe a plea, maybe a trial that you win. It just stops. Instead of sitting in jail a year and a half later, you can walk by the 180.80 day. You're going home.
Defender 35
Defender 35 Just one?
Anytime I was on trial, my mom and/or my dad would come and sit in the audience and watch. I think those were proud moments, when they saw me in action and just would be excited about it for however long, or they still talk about seeing me at trial or seeing me at work.
A couple of proud moments were when I got admitted to the federal bars. Not that it took a lot to do; you just really need to apply and get some signatures. But when I got admitted to, I think, the Eastern District first, I brought my mom and my dad and my uncle and aunt, and I was the only one that came with family. I don't know what it is about Black people, because we bring the whole family to the party and they're taking pictures. We took a picture with the federal judge that swore me in and everything. That was super proud. I wasn't super impressed by it, but because they were so excited about it, that made me feel proud.
Then I was also admitted to the Supreme Court in DC. I rode down with my mom and my brother, and we made a weekend of it. We got to meet Ruth Bader Ginsburg and we had to take a lot of pictures, and it was exciting. Again, it didn't take a whole lot on my part to get that; I just had to apply through my law fraternity and pay money, but it was a huge accomplishment. I got to show my parents things that they've never seen. Meeting Ruth Bader Ginsburg—like a lot of times, and this is kind of off-topic. Over the last couple of months when celebrities die, on social media, everybody pulls out their picture with that celebrity. People pulled out their picture with Dave Dinkins when he passed; people pulled out their pictures with Chadwick Bozeman. I was the only person that had a picture with Ruth Bader Ginsburg—that was pretty dope.
I feel proud on a regular basis when I'm able to win a trial, get a case dismissed, or do something great for my clients' cases.
Defender 36
Defender 36 Bro, I don't even know. I feel like I can't name just one, but I can name a sentiment. Like when you do some legal gymnastics and you really fuck over the A.D.A. in a solid way where you get a win out of them. Like that feeling, I don’t know if it’s my proudest, but it definitely is my most delicious feeling. If you can bottle that, it would be the best drug in this world. (Laughter) That feeling right there, like winning a good legal argument, or like fucking up an A.D.A. and knowing that they will never go to trial again with you because they're terrified of you now. Knowing that you’ve ruined weeks of their lives; those moments. I don't know if it’s pride as much as it's just really enjoyable.
Defender 37
Defender 37 It's an interesting question. I have developed a very sour taste for the institution that carries the work, that mainstreams it. That said, my proudest moment is the first trial I did and won. I had been working for a little over a month, and I had a forcible touching case I inherited from a colleague who either wasn’t there or didn’t want the case. My client was a Black homeless man in his forties, no record. I was excited to do my first trial, and I was ready to go.
I went and investigated the case. The train station where the alleged crime occurred was one I was familiar with; it was one of the two train stations I got off at when I went to high school. I knew the train station inside and out.
The prosecutor made no offer on the case. The trial happened, and the police officer testified. Then the complaining witness testified. I cross-examined the complaining witness, and she said, “I was on the phone with my friend, and I remember what time it was. I remember it like it was yesterday.” So I asked, “What time was it?” She answered, “3:45 p.m.” [It turned out that the police were flagged around 3:05 p.m. She also swore that she knew what he was wearing, but described a completely different wardrobe than what my client was actually wearing that day]. The jury did not even take an hour before they found my client not guilty.
That was the proudest moment for me. I’ve lost a couple of trials where I was proud of the work I did and the effort I put in, but this was the proudest moment.
Defender 38
Defender 38 That's a hard question.... I would say with that client that I talked about, when I was explaining why investigations are so important, when we got those charges dismissed. That was a case when my supervisor chastised me for “believing too much in my client’s innocence.” When the charges were dismissed, I felt really proud that I had been persistent from the moment the client came through the door. I really jumped on it and follow my gut instincts and didn't listen to the supervisor … and it turned out the way that I thought it should have.
Defender 39
Defender 39 Woo...well, there are a few of them, but one that I will always enjoy: there was, I think I mentioned I had a client…wow, there’s really kind of a few of them, but I think... I'll mention two, because I know you said the proudest moment and I'm kind of like…okay, there are three. I’ll narrow it down to three. I'll take it in reverse order.
Unfortunately, he was later indicted for murder of a police officer … but we had a trial where they had a written confession from this particular client. There was video surveillance of him running away from the scene, entering the building, and leaving the building. It was a bad, bad case. And I remember I was yelling at him at one point, because it looked horrible, this case. We had the suppression hearing, and the detective came off very well during the damn suppression hearing. I thought we were screwed. And he had three indictments at once. At one time the prosecution offered eight years for the three indictments; I thought that was absurd. Then they at one point offered three, three-and-a-half years or so. That was terrible, but I was trying to avoid getting the client slammed here at trial, because it was just a bad case. The client said, “I hear what you're saying. I'm not doing that. I'm not taking a plea; it'll destroy my life.” So I said, “OK.” Then, just getting down to work and looking through the discovery again and again and again and again, I noticed that there was something really funky about the written statement. There was an objectively wrong fact that was in the written statement that had to have been fed to the client by the detective…. That was something that I seized upon in cross examining the cop.
The rest [of the case] was just kind of like a house; [it started falling apart]. The surveillance video was blurry. It resembled him, but it wasn't dead-on HD quality video. It could have been a lot of different people in the video. The prosecutor was focused on the fact that my client was arrested in a purple sweater vest, and he claims, “That's a unique item of clothing.” I'm like, a purple sweater breast? Are you joking? What wound up being funny was that there were two Black women on the jury who both had on purple sweaters when the prosecutor made the argument. That client was acquitted in about 45 minutes. It was really rapid, and it was great winning that case.
There was the first trial I ever did with a guy accused of threatening to blow up TGI Friday's. I remember listening to the recording, which at the time was on a cassette tape; and I listened to it probably a couple hundred times…. During the trial, what came out was that he was one of two Black employees in this place, with forty employees total. The other Black employee was a manager in the place who they'd known for many years, so they weren't going to point the finger at him. The manager who made the accusation said, “You know, it sounds like a Black guy, and it sounds like [my client] was the person who did this.” And that's how he got arrested, with voice ID only. No one ever actually saw him make this phone call. He was acquitted, and it was one of the best moments of my life, because he wanted to fire me multiple times during the cases. He said, “I need a real lawyer; I don't need you, blah blah blah.” By the end he's like, “I love you.”
And then there was a client I had in Manhattan, where I disbelieved his version of events that he told me; and it turned out he was telling the absolute truth. That was a great learning moment in my career. Those were things that I really will remember for the rest of my life.
Defender 40
Defender 40 I feel like [my proudest moment] was a juvenile-rights-practice moment more than an adult-criminal-defense moment. Some people say winning at trial; and in some ways, that's a good moment. I'm not taking anything away from that. But I remember I had this kid who I represented for a long time when I was in juvenile rights practice, and she was an absolute mess. And I ran into her maybe about six years later; she saw me walking near Supreme Court, and she stopped me. She wanted to tell me that she had finished as valedictorian of her high school and that she was in college; and that she just wanted to thank me. She said that it was hard, but she felt like having somebody who was unequivocally in her corner made a difference. And that was amazing and great to hear.
Defender 41
Defender 41 That's tough. I mean, I can't really call it. For me, it's like one step at a time, and we have to be able to take the victories where we can take them because so much of this work is so emotionally difficult. I think anytime I get someone released is a really proud moment.
Those began when I was practicing in parole. Anytime you get someone released, it's a big deal. But sometimes there are releases that are super big.
I remember when I was in parole, I caught a glitch and did the math on one client’s case, and I realized there was a way to get this person not just out today, but off parole. That's a big deal, when you're able to accomplish that and can convince someone to give back enough delinquency time and manipulate the numbers such that two days from [that date] equals the max expiration date. That's a super win and a really proud moment.
When you win a jury trial, that's always a big moment because if it's a jury trial, you're facing more than a year [of incarceration]. So you just helped your client escape upstate prison time. There was a moment where I was really questioning whether or not I was still supposed to be doing this work, just in terms of how defeating the work can be in terms of judges constantly shutting you down, the disrespect of your colleagues. And I was working with a client who was pregnant one time. It was maybe a few months or about a year into my role in the decarceration unit, and she was a pregnant woman, a few weeks away from giving birth. And I just knew, I kept thinking to myself if I'm not able to get a pregnant woman out of jail, if I can't stop a pregnant sister from having a baby in jail, this is not the role for me. We had to win. And we did win. It wasn't a win at the bail application; it wasn't a win at the trial level. We took it to the First Department Appellate Division and won it at the appellate level. For me that was a super proud moment. We got her out just in time. We got her out on a Wednesday, and she had her baby that Friday.
Those are the moments when you feel incredibly proud. You feel validated in your work… So for me, every time I get someone out, is a very proud moment, but there are some wins that feel bigger than normal.
Defender 42
Defender 42 Ooh... umm... I don't know how to answer that. I don't even know if like— I think… I don’t know. That’s a tough one. It’s also tough to think about it in the sense of making myself proud, because I always want to make sure that I’m being very cautious to not fall into that trend of self-glorification.
I think the times that I look back on the most, as times where it didn't hurt as much, were all the times where my client can in one way or another tell folks to fuck off. (Author laughs) Like when a client gets a case dismissed after the prosecution swore that they would get a conviction, or when a client gets acquitted after a trial, or when evidence gets thrown out. It is those moments where, in whatever way, shape or form, my client has had the ability to say, “Hey government: fuck you!” and walk away in a less harmful way than what the government originally wanted.
Defender 43
Defender 43 I have to tell you, I have several. I remember the first time that I did a cross examination that I was delirious about. I came back—and it was a dead case that I knew I had won because of my cross examination—I came back to my colleague and I said, “Calvin, I know what you've been saying all along. I love this work, and now I know what it is to do it and to do it right.” It was the first time I did a cross examination that I was so happy with. I remember when I had said before that I would never like it, and he said, “You're going to come back one day, and you're going to say how much you love it.” So that was, for me, a moment of personal pride, you know? It was the first time I really understood how to get through my defense in my cross of [a witness].
But other proud moments: I was going into an elevator, and the elevator was crowded. This woman comes in, and I remembered her husband because we did a trial together and we had won it. So she says, “Hi, Ms. [My Name]!” I looked up and said, “Oh hi! How are you?” She was pregnant when I saw him during the trial, and the elevator was packed. She says she’s doing just fine and I asked her about him. She said, “He's doing great. We felt so good about what you did for us, we named our daughter after you.” (Author reacts) I was like, “Really?” I'm telling you, I got tears in my eyes, and everybody in the elevator started clapping. I said, “Oh my God! Thank you so much! That is such an honor! Thank you!”
Then also, every time I rode the train and I would meet somebody I represented, they would honor me. Even the crazy one who started telling everybody, “She’s the best! She’s the best!” I felt good; I felt proud. It’s like, wow; I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Defender 44
Defender 44 I'm trying to think….
I had this crazy situation with a guy that was Russian. He got arrested for an assault in JFK Airport. He was stranded. He was a horse trainer. He didn't speak a word of English; he only spoke Russian. He was just stranded in New York City and didn't have any fucking money to get home. I thought, what the fuck am I going to do with this guy? I was in night arraignments. He didn't have anywhere to go. He didn't speak in English, and he couldn't go to a shelter. So I spoke to the judge and I said, “Judge, I think he should stay in tonight, because he doesn't have anywhere to go.” So he stayed in. I went to arraignments the next morning and got him released, and then I got an investigator to go with me to the Russian embassy to try to get him a fucking ticket to go back home. Long story short, the embassy told us that there's really nothing they could do for him today, but maybe in a few days.
So we’re at the Russian embassy and it seems like hope is lost. It's probably February; it's just fucking cold. I don’t have a jacket on, my feet are cold, and I don't know what to tell this guy. I say, “Sorry, man. I don't know what we're going to do. Let's try to go look for a shelter for you. We'll try to figure it out.” So then we're about to walk away, and then this random Russian dude approaches and says, “What's going on, man?” We tell him, and he's says, “Oh, don't worry. I'll pay for his ticket back to Russia.” Homeboy buys him a ticket back to Russia right there on the spot. He also buys him dinner. We drop him off at the airport, and he goes back to Russia…. I was proud of myself that day, because I thought hope was lost, man.
Defender 45
Defender 45 When I won my first trial. It was a DWI trial; and it was funny because right after we won, we walked outside and my client said, “You know I did have a couple beers, right?” (Author laughs) And I answered, “Yeah, who cares; they didn’t prove it.” But it was just great. It was great.
Defender 46
Defender 46 My proudest moment? Hmm….
I'd say winning my first homicide…. The reason why it was a proud moment is because, out of my class of five people, I was the only one that didn't get felony certified the first go-round. So after that, I was like, I am not applying again. I literally had that attitude. And I'd say about two years after that, my colleague had this double homicide and she's like, “[My Name] you could take responsibility for one of the homicides.” I said, “Cool.” So we tried it, and we get a double acquittal.
At the time, I can't remember who was the head of the office, but she called me into the office and said, “[My Name], you are a funny guy. You don’t get felony certified, you pretty much tell us to kiss your ass, and then you win your first homicide trial.” And I said, “Well, what can I tell you?” And I still wouldn’t put the paperwork in to get felony certified.
One day during lunch, another older colleague came into my office. He just couldn't take it anymore. He said, “Look, [My Name], I'm sick of you and your shit. I’m going to talk, and you're going to type.” So he literally dictated my certification application to me. I said, “Alright, alright.” It's hilarious, because he was so mad at me. He was like, “I'm tired of you.”
It's funny, the dude that got me dinged, who refused to felony certify me the first time around, was the same dude that came in one day when I was sitting in my office with my mom and asked, “Is this your client?” I'm like, Oh my God; this motherfucker.... My mother had jury duty, and we probably rode downtown on a train together. I was living with her and my dad at the time. But yeah, he asked, “Is this your client? I'm sorry.” He thought that he was barging in on a client meeting, and it was me sitting with my mom. It's funny: he left public defense. He tried to be out there in private practice; and it didn’t work out for him, so he went back to public defense. He’s still there; his name is [Supervisor Name]. (Author laughs) He was my supervisor. He’s a dedicated public defender, but he didn’t play well or work well with others. He’s in one of these jobs that’s really not for him; and it’s not because he’s not a good lawyer. I would even say he’s a good teacher, but the problem is that his personality just doesn’t fit our clients at all. He doesn’t quite understand where the line is and a whole bunch of stuff….
When they denied me certification, it was hilarious; I walked into the room and they had the sad, liberal-white-folk faces. Everybody was making excuses and this and that; and I just said, “Come on guys. I know what it is.” … My felony certification meeting was hilarious: “Oh, we’re so sorry, [blah blah blah].” I said, “Don't be sorry; you saw the storm cloud coming. All you had to do was snatch me up and go, ‘Dude, do this and stop doing that.’ It’s real easy….” I was so pissed….
But winning my first homicide trial was my proudest moment.
Defender 47
Defender 47 My proudest moment as a PD is when I am able to give my clients another chance at life. What I mean by that is, a lot of times, we are the last resort to get their lives on track. When I am able to resolve the case or resolve the issues that they have going on, it makes me feel better to know that I have made a difference, no matter how small that difference is. I am also proud of the fact that I keep showing up every day to do the work I started so long ago, showing up to give 150 percent no matter what.
Defender 48
Defender 48 That's really hard.
I mean, I've had some serious moments, like negotiating a plea so that this kid who got a scholarship to college for baseball would get youthful offender status and a conditional discharge if he continued in college; and his grandmother hugging me afterwards still gets me.
I think one of the things that I'm proud of is that my kids are proud of me. The work that my wife and I do, they really respect it. They really respect it. And for kids to get that, that you help people who are accused of crimes…. I’m getting a little emotional because it's been such a rough year; but my daughter said the other day, “When I grow up, I want to be a lawyer that helps kids like mom.” (Author reacts) So, I'm proud that my kids are proud of us.
Defender 49
Defender 49 Oh God. (Author laughs) Hmm… That's a really hard question.
I'll say this: I had a case where I really, truly believed that had I not intervened and got him help, he would've been in a really, really, really bad place. I had a case that had a reckless endangerment charge. The client was a young guy, Black guy. He was about 27 years old. I'll never forget him. He was schizophrenic. He got on a bus, a New York City bus, and he would hear voices; and he would wear headphones to drown the voices out of his head. He wasn't on meds; and he thought the bus driver cursed at him. So while the bus was moving, he smacked the bus driver's cap over his eyes; and the bus is going all over the place, almost crashing. People are screaming on the bus.
I get the case and I notice immediately that there's something wrong. I enlisted the help of a fantastic social worker who sits in arraignments…. She taught me all about what was happening to my client mentally. I learned the medication he was on. I learned how we could get him programs or treatment, how we could give him proper medication. We could get him on Medicaid. We literally changed this man's life. He got a job. He was normal again. He got on his meds. The case was going to be indicted as a felony reckless endangerment. They were going to bump it up because of everything that had happened. And I begged the ADA to give me some time. So we were able to put together this whole package where he took a plea to a violation when it was all said and done.... [I]t wasn't the typical victory, the not guilty verdict; but out of all the trials I've done and things that I've worked on, I would say that was my proudest moment because that man got his life back. He was lucid; he was normal. He was working. His girlfriend, who was with him through the entire ordeal, was happy to have her boyfriend back, because he was not well.
With him, it was so crazy to me because it opened my mind up to what people who suffer from mental health dealt with. From that point on, I can recognize it. With this social worker, I felt like I was in a class. She literally helped teach me, because I told her, “I don't want you to just do this; I want you to explain to me what you're doing and how we're doing this.” We got this man a whole ACT team, which is like an entourage for mental health; and it’s very difficult to get it for some people, especially those who don't have health insurance and all these different things. But I think, given the fact that so many people have mental health problems that are never addressed, especially in the African American community where they’re just kind of like sent out to pasture, I think that was the proudest moment. Me seeing him at the end of it all—and it took a long time to get there—he became healthy and stable. It was a fantastic ending to a case that could have gone really bad.
So that would be my proudest moment.
Defender 50
Defender 50 I know I have many proud moments. Umm…
When I got a gun suppressed for my client recently, because he is a lovely, lovely man. And I felt like the cops did him wrong, and the judge did him wrong by issuing the search warrant. And we did the hearing, and we won the hearing and got his gun suppressed so he could move on with his life.
I was very proud that I was able to talk my client into sticking with a particular judge and getting sentenced to the minimum when he got a life sentence from this other judge. That was proud. I cross examined a girl who had alleged that her grandfather had raped her, and he was acquitted. It was a proud moment, because I didn't believe it. So I have lots of proud moments.
Defender 51
Defender 51 Of all the questions you asked in preparation for this book, I had the hardest time answering this one. Maybe it’s because being a public defender is such a roller coaster ride of emotions that I have never taken the time to pause and be proud of myself. I suppose I could list some noteworthy accomplishments: speedy trial motion granted on a double attempted murder, twenty-minute acquittal on a robbery in the first degree, a grand jury blow out for a mandatory persistent [felon], etc. But in all honesty, I didn’t really feel proud in those moments, just relieved that the nightmare for my clients was over and that they—and I—could move on with our lives. Maybe it’s also because I firmly believe that folks who get into public defender work for glory can kick rocks. It’s just not about that; it’s about serving our clients. So, to answer your question, I’m not entirely sure what my proudest moment as a public defender has been. But going forward, maybe I’ll try to work on that.
Defender 52
Defender 52 My proudest moment—there’s more than one—my proudest moments have always been helping other younger Black women public defenders succeed. I love building something that’s going to last beyond me. Being able to impart the knowledge I had to learn the hard way and seeing them grow from that is always amazing.
Defender 53
Defender 53 I don’t have a specific incident that I would call my proudest moment. I’ve had a lot of great moments and outcomes in my career. But I’ll say this: my proudest moment is always when I am able to successfully connect with a client. When that client understands and appreciates that I have their backs, even when we have to have unpleasant and uncomfortable conversations, that moment is my proudest moment.
Defender 54
Defender 54 That's easy! It's a dumb answer, but I had a client who was Asian. His English was really limited. He was arrested because this guy said that my client took his money, and it was a few hundred dollars if I remember correctly. What really happened was that this guy took my client's money and he was just saying this to get my client arrested; and since my client didn't speak any English, the cops just arrested my client. His case ended up getting dismissed because the complainant became uncooperative. The police, for some reason, didn't give the complainant the money; they held it as evidence or something.
So my client wanted his money back, and rightfully so. It took me a very long time, but I did get him his money back. He worked with an organization...; and I would always call the office to tell them what was going on because he didn't speak English. But I did end up getting him his money back.
I get satisfied by getting people's property back; I don't know why. I did that for one other woman; I had to fight with SSI (I think) to get her money back. But I did that; I wrote letters and everything. First they denied it, and then they called me and said, “Oh, we sent you a letter that said it was denied, but that's wrong. She's going to get her money back.” I was like, Yes!
FN 1: Jail and prison are not the same thing. A person does jailtime after a conviction if they are serving an incarceratory sentence of one year or less. A person goes to prison to serve an incarceratory sentence that is greater than one year.
FN 2: In at least one particular borough, the court part reserved for cases classified as “domestic violence” cases had a program coordinator who oversaw particular domestic violence programs that some clients who pled guilty were required to participate in. These programs required clients to attend somewhere between 24 and 26 weekly sessions, and they usually required the client to pay per session.
FN 3: Generally, court calendars tend to be very short on days before holidays, and courts are closed on holidays.
FN 4: In a trial, before the lawyers deliver their closing arguments, the judge will hold a “charging conference.” Typically in a jury trial, the judge is supposed to charge the jury with several instructions dictating how the jury should treat the evidence, view the client, find the facts, and determine whether the client is guilty or not guilty. Aside from the generic instructions read in every case, the judge will ask each side if there are any additional instructions they would like the judge to read. With bench trials, the charging conference is less consequential but still important. A “missing witness” instruction is a jury charge that is read to a jury when a party fails to call a potential and important witness to the stand after alleging that that witness was somehow involved in the matter at hand.
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